Adrian Ortega
Adrian Ortega
Adrian Ortega Conversion Testimony
God be praised. After more than 18 years of rebellion against God, against my Holy Mother and the Church, my Lord went in search of my lost soul.
My first marriage was carried out in court and the Catholic Church, and after 2 years I had abandoned it. What happened was very painful and incomprehensible for me, because the foundation that should have been built was not based on my understanding of “The Love of God”. Due to my civil divorce, I learned of the annulment process of the Sacrament of Marriage. My first thought was, “The church is useless. How could the church DIVORCE what has been united by God?” and I thought this without considering the role that I had played. I had ended this relationship, and I had also entered it with my own ideas about marriage, without emotional maturity, and without financial responsibility. I just wanted to be with the person that I thought I “loved”. This led me to resentment with the church and with God. I made the decision that my intellect would be capable of making me understand that the processes of the church were absurd and that other religions and ideologies had some truth to them. That was how my war against God began. I began reading all different types of books following what people had once told me, “Read different types of books and your mind will comprehend their contents.” That is how I came to new age literature and secret societies that cultivated knowledge for one’s own growth. Now I know that God allowed my heart to toughen into a shielded organ that nothing and no one could hurt. However, my most harmful relationship ever had begun, my alcoholism was uncontrollable, and my anger was unstoppable. Nevertheless, my appearance was that of a normal, centered, educated, cultured, and ambitious person that could accomplish anything by simply thinking about it and being mentally focused. I had a lot of downfalls, but I thought, “I can reinvent myself.” My relations to the mundane were growing and I eventually reached complete rebellion without even kneeling for the Sacred Eucharist. The mercy of God, however, is greater than that.
I almost lost my life several times due to my lack of responsibility with alcohol and my lifestyle. One day I started to have a really high fever that did not go away. After a week I went to my doctor and was diagnosed with Typhoid which infected my liver and gave me hepatitis. Since my liver was not working I was not able to take any medication. I could only to hope to get better through rest and candy. One day, the pain from my liver was so strong that I was afraid I would die. My mother wanted to call the ambulance, but I told her not to. At that moment I looked in the dresser drawers of my bedroom and saw a figurine that belonged to my grandfather. It was a statue of San Antonio of Padua with baby Jesus in his arms. At that moment I looked up and said: “Saint Anthony since you are closer to God, tell him to give me more time so that I can see my daughter and change my life.” Like a miracle, the next day I started to get better which led to my recovery. Once I was better, I immigrated to the United States and began a new life. My ideals had not changed much, I remarried, God blessed me with two sons, however, I did not have the intention of reconciling with Him.
I believed that I did not need anything. I had a job, a house, a family, but there was a tremendous emptiness in my life that not even money or my home could fill. I continued drinking but at a different rate due to my liver damage. Once, on a good day, I tried to “help” a family member. I lied to them so that they would come with me to retreat. Of course, according to me, it was he who needed it, not me; and that is how I went through the most profound experience of my life because God had a surprise for me. He was in search of his prodigal son. After going through the experience of this retreat, my hunger for the Eucharist was so great that it motivated me to reconcile through the sacrament of confession. The following week, I heard the announcement for another retreat through the Catholic Church and that is where I went through another indescribable experience. The Holy Spirit receives me with its sublime warmth and takes away my fear of speaking openly about Jesus, my Lord and Savior. I began to research the process of annulment knowing that I could not continue living the way I was. My conscience had been awakened inside me making me look for things of God which led me to look on the internet about the lives of Saints: Padre Pio, San Juan Bosco, Madre Teresa de Calcutta, San Antonio de Padua and more. That is how I came to see a very peculiar film that caught my attention. At first, I had to check various sources to verify the authenticity of what I saw and heard. So I checked web links from the Vatican to see if they corresponded. The film was about a person named Vassula Ryden, who said that she had been receiving messages from God since 1986. The messages are translated into dozens of languages, so I began reading them in Spanish and personalizing them with my name as Vassula had mentioned. My body began to tremble during the reading.
I had begun the marriage annulment process by now. At times my mind was hesitant with doubts, but God filled me with peace. I also had the support of the group with which I lived my first spiritual experience, who helped me to balance my feelings and emotions. The annulment process came to its final stage. The nun who was managing my case contacted me to see if I still wanted to testify my case in the church. For a moment I felt a spiritual power to change the course of the verdict. I told the nun that I would like to testify, and in that moment, she mentioned that we would have to speak with the judge so that I could be assigned a day, and that the process would be further delayed. The case was already ready to be examined. My Mother Santa Maria has nourished me through the rosary to obey my Church. I advised the nun that I trusted in the decision of the judge without my testimony.
At that moment I remembered one of the messages to Vassula that follows:
Yahweh Is With You
December 23, 1990
O Father,
like thirsty land I yearn for You.
Rest me for a while on Your Knees now and console me.
Let me feel enveloped by Your Consoling Heart.
I need Your warmth.
repose your head on My Heart, rest and feel consoled… your Abba is caring for you; your Abba is happy to have you near Him; repose your head on My Heart, My child, and listen to the Desires of My Heart: My Heart is still seeking, longing, pleading for the rest of My children’s love; …
(A few seconds’ pause.)
child? 1 what would you give to console your Abba?
O Lord, anything you want. My love, my will, my heart and my soul.
and what more?
My life, as an atonement to Your Desires.
descend then from My Knees and go and bear witness in My Name; go and tell the nations of My Great Love; remind them that My Promise is very near to its accomplishment and that My Return is imminent; the New Jerusalem2 is at hand; I am going to renew My Church and My people;
so My child, descend from My Knees and go out into the world for My Sake … and make My Love known to the world; let the world realize how I love My children; as it is, you have not sought Me, it is I who found you and have chosen you to go out to the world before My Great Day; it is I who formed you and although you were aloof to Me, I have chosen you and revealed My Holy Face to you; so when you have accomplished all the work I have commissioned you for, My child, I shall take you up to Me and you may then rest on My Knees;
I shall, in the meantime while you are in the world, protect you from your oppressors; I want you for your part to look up in Heaven constantly for Me and talk to Me; “Yahweh is with you”, have always these words engraved on your mind and on your heart, for I-Am-With-You; now let your heart treasure all that I have told you and remember: offer Me prayers to reach Me like incense, for the conversion of souls and the revival of My Church;
1 Suddenly the Father’s Head turned and looked at me.
2 Church.
Soon after, I spoke with the sister and asked her if I could send an email with my final testimony. She told me I could and after several attempts she told me that she was unable to receive emails. So, in my own thoughts I told God, “I tried.” A couple minutes after I had hung up the phone with the sister, she called me and told me I could send it by fax. My heart was filled with joy.
This was my final testimony in English which I had to write with my cousin’s assistance in the translation:
Dear Sister Clare,
The following Message explains my conversion. I was fighting against God, but now He brought me back. I did not understand the process of annulment and therefore did not accept it, even though I knew about it 20 years ago. My resentments against God and the Church were so big that I created my own God, became a Free Mason, read up on occultism and so on. Please read this Message. God explained everything to me. I am hungry for the Eucharist
God Bless you.
You Were Wrestling With Me
December 22, 1990
My Jesus?
I am;
I treat you very gently so that you, as My flower, grow; I want you strong and believe Me I shall make it possible; you shall be strong, daughter(Son), since you carry My Word; in front of you, I Am, to break all barriers that come up while you are witnessing; I am the Most High, and I tell you, daughter(son), that I shall see to it that no power from beneath stops you from proclaiming My Message;
I have taken you out of the land of Egypt to respond to Me in a foreign land and witness to a people not your own; so although your behaviour was appalling and your senses blemished, unabling you to see the Light, Mercy1 and Compassion was seized by your astounding misery, guilt and wretchedness and came to your rescue;
no-o Vassula (Adrian), you have not deserved any of My Gifts; why, I had servants in My Hand who honoured Me, never uttering but My Name in holiness, who blessed Me without cease, who praised the Holy Trinity wholeheartedly; but yet My Heart, an Abyss of Love, cried out for you; you had accumulated sorrow upon sorrow in My Heart, treason upon treason; you were wrestling with Me, puny little creature … but I knew that your heart is not a divided heart and that once I conquer your heart, it would become entirely Mine; an object of your era, you were wrestling with Me, but I have thrown you down in the wrestle and dragged you in the dust and into the desert where I left you there, all alone;
I had provided you with a guardian angel, since the beginning of your existence, to guard you, console you and guide you, but My Wisdom ordered your guardian angel to leave you and to let you face the desert on your own; I said: “you are to live in spite of your nakedness!” 2 because no man is able to survive alone; 3 Satan would have taken over completely and would have killed you; My order was given to him too; I forbade him to touch you then; in your terror, you remembered Me and looked up, in Heaven, searching desperately for Me; your laments and your supplications suddenly broke the deathly stillness surrounding you and your terrified cries pierced through the heavens reaching the Holy Trinity’s Ears …
“My child!” the Father’s Voice, full of joy, resounded through all Heaven;
“Ah…I shall now make her penetrate My Wounds4 and let her(him) eat My Body and drink My Blood; I shall espouse her(him) to Me and she(he) will be Mine for eternity; I shall show her(him) the Love I have for her(him) and her(his) lips from thereon shall thirst for Me and her(his) heart shall be My Headrest; she(he) shall eagerly submit daily to My Righteousness; I shall make her(him) an altar of My Love and of My Passion; I, and I only, shall be her(his) only Love and Passion; and I shall send her(him) with My Message to the ends of the world to conquer an irreligious people, and to a people who are not even her(his) own; and voluntarily she(he) will carry My Cross of Peace and Love taking the road to Calvary;”
“And I, the Holy Spirit, shall descend upon her(him) to reveal to her(him) the Truth and the depths of Us;5 I shall remind the world, through her(him), that the greatest of all the gifts is: LOVE;”
“let Us6 then celebrate! let all Heaven celebrate!”
… I have taken you by the hand and formed you to become a living sign of My Great Love; – a witness of My Sacred Heart, and of the renewal of My Church;
(The Father, then the Son, then the Holy Spirit spoke.)
I am the Resurrection;
1 Mercy and Compassion = The Lord.
2 I became “naked” as soon as my guardian angel and all Heaven had turned their back to me.
3 Abandoned by Heaven.
4 The Son then spoke.
5 The Holy Trinity.
6 The Holy Trinity spoke.
7 From purgatory.
The annulment process concluded, and my previous union was declared annulled, since there were irregular situations called vices and defects.
God transformed my life through a personal relationship with him, expressed in a deeper sacramental life in the Holy Catholic Church. On July 11, 2014, after 11 years of civil union, God gave me the grace of the sacrament of marriage with my wife Barbara and blessed my two children on the same day with the Sacrament of Reconciliation and First Communion. My daughter from the first civil union has given me two grandchildren and the Lord ha