December 8, 1987
(After reflecting what can await me I started to panic. These were moments of extreme weakness. I was very disturbed.)
My God, can’t I love You like any other normal being in a normal way? Can’t You, Beloved God, guide me in a normal way instead of this way? Oh God, I feel so much responsible with all this. It’s a torture to know that in spite of all the graces You are bestowing on me, I remain wretched and so sinful, wicked. Why Lord, why do You keep me? I can’t face You any more; I’m not worthy of You; let me go in my corner. Do not have me so near You.
My God, no, I’ll follow You and love You like the others in the normal way!
beloved, I love you! 1
Oh Jesus, I am only wounding You. Let me go. I’ll rest in my misery, but I won’t stop honouring You and loving You. 2
Lord, all of this3 is beyond my understanding, it’s beyond me!
no, this is not beyond your understanding, not anymore; beloved, 4 five of My Wounds are wide open; I am bleeding profusely; I am suffering; your God is suffering; will you not glorify My Body? five of My Wounds are open for you to see what sorrow My creation is giving Me;
I love you all in spite of your wickedness, in spite of your failures, in spite of your doubts, in spite of your iniquity, in spite of your denials, in spite of your scepticism and in spite of your insincerity towards My Body; do you not yet understand? why have you closed your hearts forever towards Me? why have most of you abandoned Me, why have My followers changed path, why have they neglected My garden, why have they not watered My flowers, why?
where are My lambs Peter? would you help Me find them and unite them? come; I will help you find them, I will bring food for them and nourish them; no Peter, you will find nothing in this wasteland; there is nothing left; the little that was left is now dry and wasted; for as far as the eye can see, there is nothing but wastelands; but I, the Lord, will fetch from My stores My Bread and I shall fill your storages with My produce; I will feed My lambs; I will irrigate this wilderness; trust Me, beloved; trust Me and I will unite you all again; together, My Vassula; flower, I will not see you trampled by them; I mean to use you for the Glory of My Body; I, God, love you;
(When our Lord said in this message: “in spite of your insincerity towards My Body…” He was talking about those working for UNITY. Usually when the ecclesiastical authorities meet to be able to find a solution, what happens is the following: the one who comes to face the other one hopes that the one facing him will be the one will give in ‘something’; in the end it ends up by no one giving much. This was given me to understand by the Lord, yesterday night.)