Sunday, May 12, 2002 6:38 PM
Are you really listening?
The experimental discussion list /discuss.html mentioned a short time ago has been quite succesful. There is a place for posting testimonies and contributions are welcomed. The following testimony has just been received and will be posted also on the list.
I have been meaning to send this for a long time but every time I thought about writing something else would come up or I had a feeling that my testimony was of no importance. But the urge to send this won’t go away and I realized that whatever I feel should not interfere with what God wants and I should share this with all of you.
A very good friend of mine introduced me to True Life in God in 1995. I have been always searching for God and for answers to my numerous questions. I was raised a catholic but as I grew my family slowly stopped attending church and praying the rosary as well as the rest of us. I could feel and see the difference in our home as we slowly neglected God. It was like a dark cloud crept in the house the further away we moved from the Lord. But even though we fell asleep, the Lord kept trying to wake us up.
Thoughts of him would always come in my mind and a hunger for something greater still remained. When my friend introduced me to True Life in God I was very eager to listen due to the hunger for spiritual food. The more I read it the more I wanted to read it. I had this feeling of excitement every time I went home and I knew I was going to spend sometime reading the messages. It was like the feeling of going away for vacation every time I sat to read the messages. They always brought me comfort, peace and satisfied the hunger within. Even though skeptical at times I kept reading them. It was almost like a dream and too good to be true that God himself would spend time talking to us. In the fall of 1997 I went through a period of deep doubts. I was becoming afraid of reading the messages and maybe doing something to disobey God. I have many friends that are Baptist and I remember them saying that we should not pray to saints and that Catholics worship man made images. Therefore we are considered, in their point of view, idolaters.
Since the messages promoted praying for saint’s interventions and protection my doubts increased. Two passages of the Bible kept ringing in my head. One was the first commandment of God “You shall not make for yourselves an idol, nor any image of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them, for I, Yahweh your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and on the fourth generation of those who hate me, and showing loving kindness to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments” Exodus 20:4-6 and “But for the cowardly, unbelieving, sinners, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their part is in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which I the second death.” Revelation 21:8.
I did not know what to do or who to believe anymore. The only one who could ease my troubles and reassure me that True Life in God was true would have been God himself. So one night I prayed with my heart and asked within for him to please give me a sign. I wanted him to be clear since I am not gifted to interpret what he says due to my own wretchedness. I clearly asked: “Are you here? Are you really listening? Please, if this is you make your presence known to me. Otherwise, I will not read this anymore.” I was certainly not going to read one more word for I did not need to add one more thing to my list of sins.
I fell asleep right after my request. During the night I slightly woke up because someone was calling my name softly but with a certain persistence. Half awake and half asleep I turned to the voice to see a man standing beside my bed. I was not afraid at all and I said: “What? What?” but I heard nothing more. The man was still standing there. It was kind of a blur for me since I was still half asleep. But since no reply came I turned and fell right back to sleep.
The next day I woke up and remembered the occurrence. I ran downstairs and asked everyone if they had tried to wake me up in the middle of the night but no one had come to my room. I knew in my heart that what had happened was the sign I had requested. I know that He is listening, He is right here with us even though we don’t see Him and True Life in God is from our Most Holy Father. How could I doubt it anymore? I never really got the question about idolatry cleared out but I certainly did not question anymore.
He gave me the sign I requested and that is all I needed and if he advises us to do something who are we to question? God be blessed for True Life in God and for bringing such a healing balm to our wounds with his sweet love.
God Bless all,
Renata