January 1, 1999
(The Lord showed me in these past months that I should keep in retreat and enter even more now in holy contemplation. This is also the fruit of union; what more sublime could there be than to be in the embrace of the Holy One? What more pleasing to God could there be than allowing ourselves to be possessed by His Majesty and to learn how to possess Him? The repose of this peace will bring growth in the divine union, strength to continue what the Father laid out for me, zeal and thirst for the salvation of souls.
I noticed too that God was now turning His Gaze more on the services I had rendered Him in spite of my frailty and that His loving instructions were focused on what I should still be doing; the messages in other words were becoming more personal although now and then, God would address His entire Church.
I should have liked also to add that the horror in my soul of being praised by people was becoming so intense that many a times I was at loss with myself and besides myself. Even when I would guess that a person focuses more on me than on the Words of our Divine Master this alone would make me withdraw even more, going even closer in the embrace of God’s Love; this special attention given to me sometimes was like a vomit in my eyes …. God made it now clearer to me that any distraction by the world and by people could become a harmful influence that would draw me away from Love’s Embrace; the Place I wanted to remain.
I received oceans of graces, oceans of gifts, but have I praised my God enough? Have I been negligent of His gifts?)
My Vassula, stand firm on what I am transmitting into your intellect and lean on My Heart; I am your Rock; yes,1 … I desire you for Myself; during this year I want My beloved to give herself up to the sweet repose of contemplation, withdrawing from the turmoil of the world, entering into My heavenly Embrace; you would be displeasing Me were you to oppose My Will; I want to repose you for My glory but also for the benefit of My Church; come frequently to Me to write down My sayings; I can use you so that My Church renews itself expanding in grace; I had shown you in the beginning My weariness and had asked you if you were willing to repose Me; now I can say: 2
“My beloved is My heaven,
the sweet fragrance of My House,
who enjoys My favour;
she is the chant of My angels;
oh what would I not do for her!”
O infinite and transcendent God,
how could You have from the beginning
gazed on this utterly unworthy
and rebellious creature of Yours?
I, Jesus, am enough to make anyone aware of My Power and My Infinite Mercy …. separate yourself from this3 Fire that emanates from My Heart and you will extinguish; I can keep you ablaze and on fire, vivified by an ardent love for Me, My House and My household; I can bring back to life anyone and lead him with cords of love into perfection ….
I always feared the praises of people on me
and I always wondered how these things affected You;
all the while I tried to guard myself against this worldly fervour
because from the beginning You made me understand
my utter wretchedness and how I was the least of them all;
Your Words were like a hammer
hammering in my soul,
engraving them on my heart;
now and then, You reminded me of my nothingness
and that if I dared lift my chin even for just a moment,
I would lose Your Heart and all the divine graces too.
In Your exuberant Love
You held me close to Your Heart
and protecting me in this way
You made me understand You,
and that by remaining a nothing
You would take so much pleasure in this effacement,
because You would do ALL and be ALL!
From my very early childhood
the devil used to appear to me
like a growling black dog ready to tear me into pieces,
but Your all-powerful action protected me;
Your constant Presence guarded me,
leading me in this divine union of Your Heart,
remaining indissolubly united with the Godhead.
Led then by such an indescribable way
that to this day it appears to me as a dream ….
Spouse of souls, I love You!
behold this Heart which chose you, it is the same that was pierced …. you have tasted it, felt it, heard it; still, My own and My child, our work is not finished because My Blood is continuing to stream out of My Heart in rivers;
You are my only Good. What can I do for You?
listen and write: many of My ministers have laid My Vineyard waste and My sheep are scattered; many of them have reduced My House into a ruin, a desolation …. and they know it; there is no peace among them and they know it; I am disappointed with them and this is why they do not want to hear Me; can their vows rid them of their sin?
No, my Lord, I believe not, for sin is sin.
they should observe My ways and repent; then, like a scent of myrrh their perfume will rise up and perfume My House; I, then, will cultivate My sons4 and will wait with delight for their fine harvest; 5 I confide My Ministers to you …. your Maker will hear your prayers; intercede for them; pray and ask the Father whose forbearance is long to forgive them; do not delay …. do you not know that even your child-like babblings are heard by the Father and graciously He responds to them? He has granted you so many favours; your advantage being ever so weak, and your very wretchedness makes Him stoop from His Throne;
Lord, I offer to You my will
and all that would give
more glory to Your Name;
You are my Royal Banquet;
bringing and giving food to the poor is Our delight; remain in close union to My Heart and listen to its pulsations …. ic;