A healing testimony
04 November 2000 15:11
Those who have been members of this list for some time will remember the requests for prayer on behalf of Bob Carroll from the USA. Bob, whose email address is [email protected] has worked closely with Pat Callahan of Trinitas, promoting TLIG for many years.
His testimony, which follows, speaks for itself:
A Birthday Gift From Our Mother
Last fall (autumn) when I became progressively confused and disoriented, my daughter told me: “Dad, something is really wrong with you; you have to see a doctor.” It turned out I had a malignant tumor of a vicious type, swelling my brain and threatening to end my life within weeks. It was removed on All Souls’ Day 1999 by two highly skilled surgeons, Drs. Greg Walker and John Ellis. They both gave credit to God for the operation’s success. One told me in the recovery room he knew I had a worldwide outpouring of prayer and that it had made all the difference. Surgeons, he said, should recognize this better than anyone. The other gave all the credit to the Holy Spirit that such a difficult and complex surgery could have gone so smoothly.
In fact the prayer was coming from friends, church communities and prayer groups in practically every country of the world. All this gave me a deeper appreciation of the extraordinary, loving family Jesus has built up for us through His Church and how in these times His Holy Spirit increasingly impels us to unity. I was especially touched by the example of our True Life in God family across the country and the globe that prayed so hard for so many months and showed such sincere concern. I was thinking in the hospital as I heard about it all that the Lord seemed finally to be getting us all to “pray without ceasing.”
As I was urged to do by two friends, just before I went into surgery I joined everything with Jesus’ suffering as they had done. In return He gave me complete peace, an unusual strength, and His nearness, not only then but also throughout my ordeal. I have not had a moment of anxiety despite my originally slim chances of survival.
Also before the operation, when Vassula Ryden landed in New York on her way to speak at the November 1999 Pittsburgh Marian Conference, she called Trinitas to say that Jesus had let her know in prayer that I would be all right. This was most welcome to hear, although I did recall Jesus had told His Apostles that not a hair of their heads would be harmed – without mentioning the fate of the rest of their heads.
A few weeks after surgery I began radiation therapy and I felt confident about my recovery. This summer, however, I developed severe pains in my head and back. Cancer cells were eventually discovered in my cerebrospinal fluid, – very grim news. When Vassula heard it she remarked, “When that happens, that’s it.”
The prognosis was indeed poor as I underwent another surgical procedure to prepare for chemotherapy, which was expected at best to buy me only enough time to be still alive for the birth of my grandchild in September. In July, after I was hospitalized for the fourth time – delirious from a fever of 104 degrees – one doctor told my daughter he estimated I had about 6-8 weeks to live. Still, the Lord was giving me such grace that when I was not in the hospital I was able to spend some time at the office in meetings, on the phone, and working on the last three newsletters. That I can even write or think at all after what my brain has been through is fairly amazing to me.
In August, two people who knew my prognosis were inspired to try to help: Twin Berkowitz (see Trinitas Newsletter #15) told me that a friend of hers in Spain was trying to arrange for a priest from India, Fr. “X” Manjackal to come to the U.S. to pray over me. Fr. “X” is renowned in many parts of the world for the gift of healing. For the past 25 years he has been evangelizing in some of the most difficult circumstances, and almost continuously giving retreats and healing services throughout the world. Those familiar with his ministry recount how, through him, Jesus has worked uncountable conversions and apparently miraculous healings.
Fr. “X” gives himself entirely to serving Jesus in this way and has so little time free that it seemed it would be a miracle in itself if arrangements could be made for him to come here in the short time available (both to him and to me). There were a few days in October but he would have to go back from England to India to get a visa. This would not be possible but Twin and her friend continued their efforts, while my son worked through the U.S. Congress trying to get an approval from the Embassy.
Then on August 11, I was able to reach Fr. “X” on the telephone. He was in London and I was in the Cincinnati Airport, headed for my twin grandchildren’s 3rd birthday celebration. After we talked about my situation he began to pray for me to Jesus, asking our Blessed Mother Mary’s intercession. He was gentle, loving, and humble but his prayer seemed very powerful. As I felt the love of Jesus and Mary, the presence of the Holy Spirit, and a great peace I was thinking that there was no reason Jesus could not heal me right then through Fr. “X”‘ prayer over the phone.
Twenty-eight days later, on the September 8 Feast Day when the Church celebrates our Blessed Mother’s Birthday, I woke up feeling differently, like my body was healthy again. Later that day when I was told that Fr. James’ visa had been denied my immediate thought was that the Lord knew it was no longer necessary for him to pray over me in person.
Before doing anything more about the visa I called Fr. “X” again and asked him if possibly Jesus had already healed me. Immediately He said “Bob, as I was praying for you [over the phone in August] a powerful light, like a floodlight (the power of the Holy Spirit, he later understood) shined on you and I saw a white sheet of paper on which was written: ‘My Son, You Are Healed’” Upon hearing these words I was instantly filled with more joy and gratitude than my heart or mind could contain. I couldn’t grasp the fullness of the love and mercy God was showing me; it was too much for this one beautiful moment.
At the end of his prayer, Fr. “X” was given this scripture passage (Phil 4:19: “In return my God will fulfill all your needs, in Christ Jesus, as lavishly as only God can.” Fr. “X” asked me if I experienced anything back then during his prayer. I said no, but that I did on Mary’s Birthday. He said he was so happy to hear that this was on Our Lady’s special day.
Fr. “X” did not tell me at the time of his prayer over me what he saw and heard that indicated I would be healed. This was most likely because, as he has answered others before, “Who am I to tell someone they are healed?” If there is to be a healing the person will come to know it without needing anyone telling him. Usually only if the person asks, as I did later, will Fr. “X” relate a foreknowledge of a healing that he often experiences during the prayer.
After this conversation I had an appointment that afternoon with my oncologist, Dr. Rosen. I told him that I thought the cancer was gone through the prayer of a priest with the gift of healing. He did not discount the possibility of a miraculous healing but in such cases, he said, his practice would be to continue the chemotherapy treatment to completion. If I did not wish to continue he would understand. He told me that in any case he saw great improvement in my speech, my thought, and in every respect. Having complete trust in this highly regarded specialist and mindful of Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) 38:1-15, I agreed to what he recommended.
Dr. Rosen ordered another spinal fluid specimen taken and two days later the oncology nurse, Cindy called me to say “We have the results, Bob: it’s
clear; the cancer is gone. This is such great news!” she said, “I couldn’t
wait to tell you. We’re so happy for you!” I asked the dates of the two
last specimens. On September 5, three days before Mary’s Birthday, cancer
was still there. On September 11, three days after Her Birthday – on which
I first felt cancer free – there was “no malignancy present.” The next day
at the clinic five oncology nurses listened to how I believed it happened
Right after Cindy’s call I told my pastor, Fr. Pilecki and he announced that evening at Mass “We have experienced a great miracle in our midst: Robert Carroll has been healed of cancer on our Blessed Mother’s Birthday.”
Somehow I always felt I would be writing this testimony someday but I am no less awestruck as I humbly thank the Holy Trinity and our Blessed Mother Mary for this unexpected gift of a new life. I was still here for the birth on September 27 of my daughter Tania’s first child after all. I was praying for mother and child on that day and the very moment I finished, the phone rang. It was my daughter Tania telling me that Caitlin had just come into the world 45 minutes before and that she was beautiful. Two weeks later I visited them in Washington, D. C., telling whomever I met on the way there and back about the special grace of God through Fr. “X” that enabled me to make the trip.
Each person seemed uplifted to hear the story and many, including those back here at home, said it strengthened their faith. A few who had lost loved ones to terminal illness understandably wondered why some are healed and not others, especially children. I have wondered the same thing but I know in such trials of faith we can pray for and receive the grace to trust in God’s infinite wisdom and perfect love for each of us, His children, to provide always and only what is best.
I agree it is worthwhile waiting for more medical and evidence and opinion to accumulate but I have no doubt that God has healed me of incurable cancer specifically through the special gift He has given this holy priest, Father James Manjackal. I also feel that all the prayers, Masses, the novenas, the anointing, the fasting and the loving sacrifices offered for me played a role somehow in this merciful healing – not to mention the impressive faith and skill of the medical practitioners who brought me through this. Jesus after all is a God who allows His Sacred Heart to be touched, especially by prayer from the heart and by the prayer of children, of whom there were many praying for me.
I wish it were possible also to thank everyone face to face individually for all they have done, including the worldwide messages of encouragement that have strengthened me. My son Sean asked when he visited me, “Dad, where did you find all these saints?” I am especially grateful to those “saints” in my Trinitas family who saw to it that I had the constant observation I required without being institutionalized. Pat Callahan worked up a care schedule for me with himself, Deanie Bauer (Trinitas’ shipping manager), and her husband, Phil taking turns. Then a registered nurse, Jean Colona, who used to volunteer at Trinitas heard about my situation. She had wanted to get back into serving the messages so she stepped in, offering in Jesus’ name her services as a nurse and for whatever other help I have needed.
I greatly appreciate as well the prayer and concern by Pat’s wife, Sue Callahan – in spite of her own physical suffering – by my Pastor, Father Pilecki, the parishioners of St. Cyril’s, and by the Sisters of St. Francis of the Holy Eucharist, among others of the local Christian community
I have become more acutely aware of what Jesus offers us in the “community of the faithful” to love and uphold one another though our trials, as so many of you around the world reading this now have done for me. “By this love you have for one another, everyone will know that you are My disciples.” – (Jn 13:35)
It is difficult to express what it is like to be dying of cancer one day and not dying of it the next. One cannot help but feel unworthy of such a blessing and privilege to experience the physical and spiritual renewal that God has been granting in Jesus’ name through priests and disciples like Fr. “X” since the Apostolic Age. Today Jesus is showing us, as He always has, that He wants us to ask for more, especially spiritual healing, and He will give it to us. Our sores, He says, “are not past healing” if we will only come to Him in faith and love.
Fr. “X”, in his ministry stresses that spiritual conversion must be our priority. Jesus tells us in the True Life in God (TLIG) messages that we still do not understand the urgency of His calls: I have been …sending you messengers in every nation to progress you in your faith, to convert you, to establish peace and love, to unite you…I come to convert you and to remind you of my statutes, I come to call the sinner to confession…come back to Me…learn to love Me, make peace with Me…I will not reject you, I am Love, and I love you everlastingly…come to Me when the Hour has not yet come…Do not let My Justice take you by surprise and unaware. (May 1, 1989 – TLIG notebook 33, pp. 24-28)
In light of such pleas, this has obviously been tremendously encouraging for me – as I believe such miracles are intended to be for each of us struggling to live a “true life in God” through prayer, sacrifice and love. God gives us seemingly overwhelming crosses then helps us in so many ways to bear them, as well as to profit immeasurably from them. I was granted not only a physical healing but also the beginning of a deeper conversion I knew I needed but may not have reached by the path I was on. To outward appearances, many of us seem to be devoting our life to doing God’s work, but without much love and without making much progress in abandoning our will to Him or practicing a constant awareness of His presence.
As most of us do, I need a lot more conversion – especially with the lesser crosses, sacrifices, and sins where I never give Heaven a chance to help. But to see a bit of real progress in some areas of my wretchedness, as well as a renewed appreciation for scripture and the True Life in God messages over television, this trial has been worth it. I would never have invited it but in no way do I regret it now. The grace that came with it has brought me closer to Jesus, given me true peace, and has demonstrated the reality of Mary’s motherly intercession. Her love is no longer an abstraction for me but a source of true hope.
This gift from God, given through one of Mary’s holy priest-sons on the day we celebrate her birthday, is to me a reassurance that she is always with us and aware of the least little thing that happens to us. She prays for what she as a mother knows we need and Jesus responds to her because He gave us this Holy Mother from the foot of His Cross. It is the powerful intercession in the love of her Immaculate Heart that brings her well-beloved Spouse, the Holy Spirit with miracles like this.
Like her Son, she wants us to ask for more. She will never reject us. “Hail Holy Queen, our life, our sweetness, and our hope… Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ”
[Fr. “X” Manjackal is preaching all over the world and you can e-mail him at the following address: [email protected] ]
Bob Carroll 01/02/2000 All Souls’ Day
